Reese parachutes into Afghanistan. Scared, he immediately deserts, disguising himself as an Afghani woman. Hot, tired and thirsty in the desert, Reese begins to lose hope and hallucinates. Mr. Waffles bucks him up, telling him he has to get home to his family and friends. Reese pushes on, but is captured in India. Lois is there and pays warlords for his release.
Feeling guilty because Reese joined the Army, Malcolm volunteers at a veteran's hospital. Frustrated he can't get through to the patients because they're all drugged up, Malcolm throws away their tranquilizers. This results in a chaotic old man fight between all the patients. Malcolm intervenes, but gets knocked out.
At home, Dewey convinces Malcolm that if he wants to honour Reese he needs to commit an act of random violence and destruction. So Dewey and Malcolm bomb the local art fair with Jamie's dirty diapers. In the middle of it, Reese appears and joins in the fun.
Hal meets with an Army officer and finds out where Reese went to Basic Training. Lois meets with the officer there and convinces him to give up Reese's location. Lois sells the car to buy a ticket to fly to Afghanistan. With the help of some locals, Lois finally finds Reese in India.
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